Now before I begin the Evil Bio that will certainly make me a bigger idol than Zepplin, let me digress and talk about the other Evil Bio's I have created for other cast members:
I have said that Melissa worshipped me, made everyone question Will's sexuality and military status, said Traci was a space alien, invented Bill's "Super Absorbant Ass" and created the Name Our Prop Bitch Alex contest. But now I will put all of them to shame with THE SINGLE GREATEST EVIL BIO EVER!

I am quite proud of my Evil Bio's. On several occasions people have commented on them and some cast members have included portions of them in their own bios, and in a few cases left my genius for all to see in it's glory. But now with the creation of THE SINGLE GREATEST EVIL BIO EVER! I will all other attempts will pale in comparison. This Evil Bio will be so grand that college proffessors will teach it to their classes, monuments to it will be constructed, religious zealots will praise me as the new Messiah, my mom will think I'm strange. The impact of this, the greatest of all Evil Bios, will stop war, eliminate hunger, end pollution and make lemmings stop running off cliffs to their deaths. But enough talk, let us begin THE SINGLE GREATEST EVIL BIO EVER! Really big pause for even more dramatic effect . . .













OH NO! I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!! My brain has gone impotent! This has never happened to me before. I've heard it happen to others, but never me. Maybe if you try doing something else . . . no that's not working. What the hell is wrong with me. Maybe it's just too cold in here or something. Wait, please don't go. It'll be fine in a few minutes, I swear! How humiliating. Oh, the shame. THE SHAME!