| .: BIO :. | Written on 12/14/99 |
Created December 14th, 1999 by Heffer
Hi there! You didn't know I could type could you. Well there's lots of things many people don't know about me. First off, yes I am Jamie's steer [not cow]. But what most people don't realize is that I'm not his pet. He's mine. Yep. The poor albino wouldn't get along without me. Also I have a Masters Degree in Philosophy. Hey, I'm a steer -- what else is there to do but contemplate the mysteries of the universe and social reforms? Also many people wonder why Jamie lives in Pasco, 45 minutes from the theatre and an hour from his school. Well, it's my fault. You just can't find any good cows in Pinellas or near Tampa. But in Pasco there's plenty of females to be found for us steers. If we can just get the fools from Moon Lake away from them. Yes, it's hard on Jamie to live so far off from everything, but he knows how important I am to him -- and he really doesn't have a choice. He is my pet human after all.
Now for something that really bothers me. Every week I go to the show and without fail someone will look over and scream 'Cow'. Idiots! I am a steer, not a cow. Cows are female bovines -- I am certainly a male. Trust me on this. I drives me insane that theses morons from Pinellas County can't tell the difference between man and woman. Then again, it is Pinellas County I'm speaking of. So please next time you see me at the show feel free to say hello . . . just don't call me a cow. Unless you want to get trampled.
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