So, I’m sitting around the retired evil-bio writer’s VIP resort: enjoying the sunny, sandy beaches, drinking a nice cold one, being served by various beautiful, yet highly sarcastic and bitter, women, when the emergency bio-phone rings. "What the hell?!" I screamed into the phone "I’ve told you a thousand times, I’m not doing ‘em anymore! I quit cast over 18 months ago. I’m having the time of my life here. I did my time... Why don’t you leave me alone?!"

"The time has come", said the voice on the other line "as is prophesized, the Cuban one has joined the ranks of the deviant ones. You must warn the people". Sure, it was over-dramatized. Sure, the ominous voice on the other end of the line was Jamie, who was standing 3 feet away from me with a cell phone just to be a little bitch, but that didn’t mean this wasn’t an assignment of the utmost importance. I went to my trusty computer, loaded MS word, bitchsmacked Jamie (in a nice way) and went to work:

Geo is Cuban.

Very, very Cuban.

So very Cuban, in fact, that you cannot possibly look at Geo without thinking "Whoa, that’s some Cuban looking guy". I mean, he’s Cuban, his family’s Cuban, even his feet, cats, and food are all Cuban. When Geo isn’t extremely busy being so Cuban all the time, he spends time taking care of his cats and polishing his collection of Disney memorabilia. He also has this Trans-am, so I guess that’s kinda cool...

Listen, I wish I could come up with something better here, but there really is nothing more. The truth of the matter is, that Geo is unbelievably, mind numbingly ass-boring. Geo, in fact, is so ass-boring, I had to invent a term like ass-boring to describe how ass-boringly ass-boring his boring ass is. I mean, I used the term "ass-boring" 4 times in the last sentence (5 if you count "boring ass") and I still don’t think I’m adequately portraying the ass-boringness inherent within.

Some people would point out that Geo has the best audio-video equipment on cast, with Andy coming in as a very distant second. The thing is that, like Andy, Geo has this delusional fantasy that somehow his entertainment center can make him popular. He’s like the really annoying kid in grade school that has all the cool toys and constantly comes up to you saying "Hey, I got all the new Cheesy McPoof and the Slippy Doughnuts action figures. Do you want to come over?". And, I mean, of course you show up, because it’s some cool stuff, but it’s still not worth dealing with his ass-boring personality.

The main difference, however, is that while Andy has a huge pen!s, all Geo has is a Trans-am.