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ROLE: Co-Director, Riff Raff, preshow host
LOCATION: Clearwater, FL
BIRTHDATE: October 27, 1978
OCCUPATION: Retail loser
HOBBIES: Star Wars, exotic pets, fish, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness
E-MAIL: DarkLordoftheFish3@yahoo.com
ON CAST SINCE: April '98, but was on "Denton High" 1996-1998.
PREV CASTS: Denton High (former Tampa cast)
OTHER: He has performed on the Tampa Theatre cast, Larger Than Life, since 1997; first as understudy Rocky in 1997, then lead Rocky in 1998 & 1999 and lead Riff Raff and now lead Eddie in 2004. |
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| .: BIO :. | Written in 1999 or 2000 |
Written by SAM, THE EVIL BIO WRITER!
He's Riff, he's director, they call him "Mandingo" every once in a while, but he's mostly known as Ed. However, and not many may know this, Ed's real name is Vernon Xavier Schragientsi. His current name "Ed" is actually derived from the acronym "Elephant Dick", a nickname bestowed upon him by every single cast member who had the displeasure of catching him naked backstage (and that's everyone, folks. You're not on cast until you've seen Ed's inflamed testicles). Since the exclamation "Goddamnit, Vernon Elephant Dick, put that shit away." Took too long to say during the show, his nickname was shortened to "Ed" for convenience.
Ed has been with the cast for almost 3 years now. He originally joined as Rocky, but switched to Riff when he realized that the part would allow him to get into his costume without playing 3 hours of underwear Tetris beforehand. He has also managed to become the cast director after the cast realized he might spend less time wagging his testicles in public if he was given some directorial responsibility. So there you go, boys and girls, living proof that size DOES matter, and will get you ahead in life.
Out of Rocky, Ed collects trespassing warrants from George Lucas, raises various animals to think that they are various OTHER animals (you should see his ferret-complex-afflicted Rottweiler), and is also probably planning on hunting down the evil bio writers' syndicate as soon as he reads this bio...
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