 |
ROLE: ARMY OF ONE, former co-director, former Brad understudy
LOCATION: IN THE ARMY!
BIRTHDATE: March Fifteenth, Nineteen Hundred and eighty-two
OCCUPATION: Full Time Army do-boy!
HOMEPAGE: http://armyalex.tripod.com
HOBBIES: Pushups and other forms of punishment for being a grinning smart-a$$ in the Army
E-MAIL: ?
ON CAST SINCE: Febuary 2000 (until Feb. 2002)
PREV CASTS: Denton High in Tampa, Larger Than Life
OTHER: In 2001, Alex was Ralph, understudy Brad and props for the annual cast, Larger Than Life, at Tampa Theatre that performed in front of 1,446 people!
|
|
NOTE: ALEX CANOT SPEL. IGNORE GRAMMER ERRERS.
Alex was born Moishe Abram Lebowizki Chaim Goldstein Smith III. Later, it was shortened to "Alex" becuase no one on cast could pronounce "Smith".
Alex went 18 years without ever getting laid. He never had a problem finding girlfriends, and his "equipment" was in working order, he just couldn't get laid. No matter how much he tried, it just didn't happen. He joined Interchangeable Parts in Febuary of 2000 under the impression that he could get laid quicker if he was on cast. Unfortunatly for Alex, this was not true. Alex went another year before that fateful day. Alex originaly figured that as a member of IP's illustrious "Props Crew" that he could get laid. Wrong-o. He then relized that he needed to hold a position of power to attract the "Women". He then whined and bitched to Ed and got made "head props". Still no sex.
Alex realized that he need to actualy be ON stage. Alex weasled his way on to another cast (Back Row Players, Lakeland) while IP was theatre-less... This turned out to be a BIG mistake. But Alex DID get to perform Brad for a show or two or three or four. When IP was "given performing-rights" to the Beach Theatre, Alex audtiotion for understudy Brad, but was given Lead due to a technicality. (another long story) Anyway, Alex went to understudy Brad and was finally gettin' play. No sex though. GRRRRR.
Anyway, Alex then saw his opening. He realized that Jamie went into the directorship a loser with the ladies, and quit as a swingin' stud. Alex knew what he needed to do. Alex canvased and polled, proded and bribed his way into the directorship.... ("Sucking Up" to Ed helped as well, just don't tell his wife,
Cindy) Alex was then in a position of power - Directorship. And guess what happened:
Anyway, that's Alex's story. 'Nuff said.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
For novelty's sake, here's the old Evil Bio Jamie made for Alex when he joined the cast. VOTING IS NOW CLOSED.
Written by JAMIE, THE OTHER EVIL BIO WRITER!
When Alex joined us, he told me that everyone called him SuperJew. I had two major problems with this. One: we already have two and a quarter Jews on cast, so calling anyone else Jew is too damn confusing; we don't need another. And two: I LOATHE having anyone give themselves nicknames. Any nickname must be earned through either experience or humiliation. Coming from the "Snitch-Ass Bitch" himself, I know. Now I can respect the want of a nickname. It adds something to your personality and is pretty damn cool sometimes. But just to give yourself a nickname isn't happening while I'm around. I earned my Snich-Ass Bitch title from experience, and Testiclese got his for humiliation purposes. But since Alex is so determined to have a moniker I've decided to start a contest. It's called the "Give our props guy, Alex, a Nickname contest."
Now here are the choices I've come up with. I decided to stick with the religious superhero tones of SuperJew, so this might get scary. I'm showing the tallys of each choice so you can see which ones are winning. Please excuse the murderous spelling.
1. Captian Bar Mitzvah - 8
2. The Incredible Shrinking Hebe.
3. Torah Boy (submitted by Alex's Dad) - 4
4. Blintz Boy (name submitted by Alex's Grandmother) - 1
5. The Egyptian Slave - 3
6. Mr. Nachasfunkinder - (submitted by Alex's Grandfather) - 2
7. SuperJew
And my personal favorite:
8. Mighty Morphin Moses Boy! 6
Now you don't have to select one of my choices. Send in your own ideas and I'll post the best ones. [If you can top Mighty Morphin Moses Boy, I'll be impressed!]
|
